If You Have a Daughter, You Most Likely…

  1. Know all names of all the Pretty Ponies, Disney Princesses’ Palace Pets, Disney’s Fairies (even that difficult one – Vidia). You’ve gotten the response, “raindrops, snow, and honey” upon asking her what fairies eat.
  2. Curse at Disney for giving Princess Aurora’s pink kitty two names, Beauty and Dreamy, a marketing ploy that has wreaked havoc in your household.
  3. Are told about every inner working of her classroom, including the behavior charts for every student.
  4. Spent an entire day crafting; you’ve handed out homemade cards to every friend, family member, teacher, classmate, and even your pediatrician.
  5. Say, “Wow, look at all the colors you used,” at least ten times a day to comment on her artwork.
  6. Allowed her to wear a Care Bear custom to a Paris-themed birthday party just because she dressed herself.
  7. Haven’t wiped her front bum or back bum (your son’s terminology that you simply agreed to instead of using the anatomically correct words) since she was two. Thank God, girls are so clean and independent.
  8. Discussed the burning issues of the day, such as what is your favorite color and which princess would you like to be, at the dinner table.
  9. Get excited when discovering a new Barbie, Monster High, or Care Bears video at the library.
  10. Refer to Amoxicillin as pretty, pink princess syrup.
  11. Survived the craziness that was the movie Frozen and are able to only now talk about it.
  12. Taught her how to shop, sit and talk over coffee, and get her nails done because you need a buddy.
  13. Sing every nursey rhyme and Disney song by heart.
  14. Purchased an age inappropriate doll or toy and hoped that she’d just find it innocent. For instance, I just purchased the daughter of the grim reaper for my 4yo and prayed that it wasn’t bad karma.
  15. Been told by her that you look like sisters after you’ve spent hours at the hair salon in order for your hair color to inadvertently match her natural color.
  16. Watched Dora the Explorer grow from a preschooler into a tween going Into the City overnight. You know that your daughter will suddenly morph into a tween someday and cry at the very thought.
  17. Are blessed to have her in your life.

 

If you Have a Son, You Most Likely…

  1. Know the name of every Skylander character, train from Thomas the Train, and car from the Carsmovies (and wonder what useful information from your college courses are no longer stored in your brain because of it).
  2. Play Mario Kart, and by play, I mean, try to defeat your son(s) with zero mercy, because racing sure is fun.
  3. Know nothing about your son’s school, except what you glean from the teacher and his homework, but know every intricate detail of his bus ride.
  4. Spent more time setting up and cleaning up crafts, including, painting, playdough, and coloring, than actually crafting.
  5. Sent him outside in the freezing cold weather to ride his bike because he was bouncing off your walls.
  6. Find at least twice as many pairs of underpants in the laundry for him than other family members. Why do they go through so many pairs?
  7. Buy him new pants because of holes in the knees that happen weekly but you can only face monthly.
  8. Have been accused of having “Poop in your Pants” or some other sophisticated comeback.
  9. Talk about how it’s important to take the time to have a poop even if you are in the middle of playing, watching TV, eating, or any other activity that happens during their lives.
  10. Can successfully match each Ninja Turtle to his proper name, color, and weapon.
  11. Have become a master LEGO builder. Everything is Awesome.
  12. Lined up matchbox cars in rows in every room of your house. Been told not to put said hundreds of cars away at clean up time, because he wants to “play” again with them tomorrow.
  13. Are as proud about his behavior at school as you are about his high score on Angry Birds.
  14. Seriously debated whether the following actually qualified as a super power for super heroes: tackling, being able to detect whether you have poop in your bum, and throwing rocks.
  15. Given the stink eye to the 6-yo girl that said she no longer wants to marry him. He’s so little, but still, his feelings were hurt.
  16. Know every line to the Cars, Planes, and Toy Story movies and cry at the part when Andy leaves for college at the end of in Toy Story 3, every single time.
  17. Are blessed to have him in your life.